Look at me and listen

How often do we say that to our children? I say it often. My kids have a really hard time processing what is said to them because of organic brain damage. I don't have organic brain damage, but I have a hard time listening too. My husband would say it is ADHD, I say just the H part. I have a lot of energy and there is always another thing to accomplish. I don't sit still long. I move all the time. This , at times, bothers those around me and makes them feel a little dizzy. But...

I am faithfully reading several blogs of great value. I find I listen to the written word much better than I listen to the spoken word. Each of the blogs I am reading helps me in different ways. Some of them make me laugh, others make me think and some make me take action. Maybe I will get better at consistently blogging myself and maybe one day I will take the time to really write something important. For now, however, I am listening very carefully to what is being written. Thanks to those of you who are taking the time to write.

Sea World it was not

Recently our friends the Fletchers went to Disney World and Sea World. When they returned 2 of their boys stayed with us for a few days. During that time there were conversations about the exciting trip. Well....

Yesterday our family took a trip to Minneapolis for a court hearing. While we were trying to find a place to park, our son Barrett shouts out "Look everyone there's Sea World!". Excited children quickly craned their necks to see "Sex World". We didn't give an explanation just tried to redirect.

random acts of kindness

Today I took seven kids to Apple Valley to return our former foster baby (now7) to her parents. I decided to do some school shopping since we just got paid and we hadn't done any yet. While in TJ Max a woman walks up to one of my daughters and askes about her hair locks. I tell her that I do them myself. Conversation ensues, she askes lots of questions about the kids that I don't usually answer. She asks me what would inspire me to adopt 10 children. I tell her because the need is great and someone has to do it and I can. It culminates at "how do you make it?" I tell her about the subsidy we receive and how withoutthe subsidy this would not be possible. She says yeah but how do you make it, that is not enough. I say well on paper we don't make it, nothing adds up. But, we don't try to make sense of it on paper it just works out somehow. She asks how old I am, I tell her, she doesn't believe it, we go our seperate ways.

At the checkout counter, many articles of school clothing later, she steps in front of me. I being who I am say "Oh did you want to check out ahead of me you don't have very much stuff." She says "I am going to pay for your things" I say "You're kidding, there is a lot of stuff here." $228.00 later she puts her card down on the counter, signs the charge and hands me the receipt. Made my day!

We're going to the dump

Yeah. We are going to the dump. The ugly, wrecked and flea infested couches are going to the dump. Notice I didn't say old. Too bad I don't know how to put pictures on here yet or I would show you what 6 year old couches and 15 kids looks like. It is not a pretty sight.

Friends

If you are a reader of Claudia's blog "Never a Dull Moment" you will see her blog about friends. I am the other wacko she is referring to and yes, she is still one of my very best friends regardless of how often we talk to or see each other. And yes her kids were naughty, naughty, naughty, right along with mine for the last ten days.

Her two boys and my three boys followed the lead of the least common denominator. It was not a good thing. Whenever a child with better common sense or higher IQ could have made a difference they didn't. They, because of their higher IQ used the other child as an excuse. Makes no sense to me, but it was great argument material for them. So much for the helper brain. At any rate, all of them made it through the ten days unscathed. Well I did use a few choice words (sorry to those of you who can make it through life without ever using those words). It is another blog topic about how I was raised by a father who has one of the foulest mouths in the West. Yes, he is cowboy!

At any rate it is over now, Claudia is home, her boys are with her and I have only my remaining very mouthy 3. I will probably take my much more polite, respectful and sweet little girls somewhere today and leave the world of boys on the edge. Never mind, those same mouthy boys just brought in a huge bag of green beans, several peppers and tomatoes. Well it is really only enough for one meal in this large group so off I go.

Fleas, Fleas the wonderful tenacious fleas!

I still have a flea infestation. Sorry to those of you who want to hear about the wedding. I still have a flea infestation.

Thanks to Claudia(who fronted me the money until the we have a paycheck), as soon as I can get the exterminator out here I can debug the house. I have tried all the natural and un-natural methods of flea control that are available over the counter. I am of the organic, natural is better vent, do not want to pollute the environment or us kick. So the exterminator is a really big deal. There are so many fleas in this house that 3 cat's and 1 dog are not enough to suck off of. My children, those same mouthy ones, are being eaten alive. Every day I hear about how many bites they have. As in all of life things are not fair. The ones who are the most mouthy and annoying are not being bitten nearly as much. My children who rarely are disrespectful are being bitten the most.

I now know more about the life cycle of a flea than I ever wanted to know. We probably already had this infestation in our house when we moved in. We moved here last year after the hot and humid weather was over. This year the hot and humid weather started earlier and has been unrelenting. Fleas, you guessed it, thrive in very hot, very humid weather. They can also live in the pupae stage for 8 years without a host. They are also coaxed out of this state of limbo by vibrations in their enviroment (the pitter-patter of 16 or more little feet) and by the body heat of a mammal laying on the floor (the bodies attached to those same feet are laying on the floor in front of movies on these very hot days). Sooooo you can see why a very large number of fleas in the pupae stage have decided to emerge. Maybe all of them. Which means that at the rate of one egg per hour for an adult female, the rate of flea reproduction is staggering.

Again woe woe is me.

Disrespectful, mouthy kids

I am so sick of mouthy, disrespectful kids I can't stand it. I have always got at least one kid who is consistantly mouthy and several others who will fill in any gaps in the mouthiness. Usually the ones who have learned to talk more respectfully to me can't believe the mouthiness of the current frother. Imagine that. I have made it through 7 very mouthy kids. Some of them are not over the hump, but their outburst's are rare. So, they get over it and I must still endure the remaining six children coming behind them,who, at some point will believe that I should be their whipping post for everything going wrong now or anything that has gone wrong in the past. I am SICK of it. I know it goes with the territory of adoption and step-parenting but I no longer care. I want it to stop. I am angry now and ranting. Later I might feel different. I will feel depressed and wish I could do a better job.

Some of my kids take meds to make it through their various issues. I take meds for depression. I have a genetic issue with depression and have been dealing with it successfully for years. However, when my husband was deployed 2 years ago and 2 of my kids were over the edge I had to up my meds to a much higher dosage. Since we have moved to Olivia, I have had to discontinue my meds because my husband has not found full-time employment and hence no insurance. My meds alone cost over $100.00 a month.

Waah, waah, waah woe is me. No wonder I try to think about my garden 24/7.

the wedding

My oldest child Jake was married on July 23rd. Jake, aged 27, is a stained glass artist actually making a living practicing his art in Minneapolis MN. He married Kori whom he has known since high school. They never went to school together but both worked at Subway when they were Seniors. I believe that Jake has loved Kori since shortly after he met her. When Jake met Kori. however, she had a boyfriend. They remained friends until about a year ago when Kori fell in love with Jake. So the story goes. During the vows Jake had all he could do not to bawl. He managed with just a few tears. Knowing Jake as I do, I am sure at that moment he was thinking about how fortunate he was to be marrying her. According to her parents the feeling is mutual.

I danced with my son during a special dance in our honor. I feel very fortunate that he is my son and that I had the privilege of parenting him. Not that there were never any uncomfortable moments, but they were few and I have a very special bond with him. Experiencing a positive birth together does make a different kind of bond. I have it with both my 2 birth children. It doesn't mean I love my birth children more it just means it is easier. I wish I could have given birth to all of my children for them and for me. Having that unbroken bond of mother and child cannot be replaced. Try as we might to heal our adopted children we can never give them that. Our children who have that will always have a leg up on all of life. Sometimes that bond of birth is broken for some reason that cannot be helped (such as illness of the mother or child right after or during birth) and even birth children can suffer that broken bond.

The wedding was beautiful and well-planned. I did almost nothing except appear with 10 children, my husband and myself clean and well-dressed. The kids were on their best behavior. I was on my best behavior. We are capable of having very good behavior in public and save most of the other garbage for home. The kids have learned that any public appearance can and will quickly end if they behave otherwise. Maybe more later...